Harley, Harleen, A Joker's Third Wheel
by Jokerfest
Summary: This is definitely an AU oneshot. Extremely dark. Character deaths. It's what Harley does when she finds out her man is cheating. Batman/Joker/Harley


**So I was inspired by a song Obsession by innerpartysystem. It's about wanting your love to notice you, and wanting so badly to have them be just as obsessed and just as consumed with you. The song I used was not that song, but another great song, Waking Up Alone by Amy Winehouse. Now I warn you that this is not something that ever happened, I just wanted to imagine what Harley would do if she ever found Joker cheating on her. This fic is dark, and somewhat morbid, and I had the Joker a little OOC or maybe he **_**is**_** in character, depending on your view of Joker's personality and feelings or lackthereof. Anyway enjoy and REVIEW! Oh yeah and I don't own any of the characters or the song used in the fic.**

_~It's okay in the day, I'm staying busy~_

Lustrous bouncy curls and a red nightgown. It clings to her curves, emphasizes taut smooth flesh, high breasts, long tan legs.

She ponders his favored oak desk. Should she lay atop it, pose so that he sees her? She wants everything to be perfect, wants to have him consumed with desire. Of course, he often was, it was just never desire for her.

She circled the desk.

_~Tied up enough so I don't have to wonder where is he _

_Got so sick of crying~_

There were papers scattered amongst various odds and ends. They were errant thoughts of her lover, stray dreams, half-hatched schemes. She tsked to herself, he was never much of a planner, never finished the things he started.

_~So just lately _

_When I catch myself I do a 180 _

_I stay up clean the house ~_

A caricature of Batman was etched into the desk. She wanted to pretend that she didn't already know about the two of them. She wanted too, but she couldn't. This desk was empty more often than not, and his habit now was to tell her a quick 'Stay here Harl' before grabbing his tell tale mad mauve coat.

_~At least I'm not drinking _

_Run around just so I don't have to think about thinking ~_

Maybe his desk wasn't the best idea. She remembered when they had christened it. He had flung her over top, ripped into her leotard and thrust himself into her. It was a battering experience that ended with her screaming his name and slumping onto the floor. Pale milky white seeped from between her legs and he looked down his flat grey eyes watching her calculatingly.

"Hmm, wonde**r** if the, uh, Batman get_**sss**_ fucked?"

She hadn't known how to respond so instead she smiled. He had grinned widely back, his smile threatnening to wrend and rip his scars right through.

"Come here, _**Harley-girl**_," and his fingers found themeselves curled none too gently in her hair.

_~That silent sense of content _

_That everyone gets _

_Just disappears soon as the sun sets~_

She went to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She knew she was a beautiful woman, even in costume men still found the audactiy to hit on her. Her hair was long, her lips full, and she knew her eyes were a deep drowning blue. She puckered her lips.

_~His face in my dreams seizes my guts _

_He floods me with dread _

_Soaked in soul _

_He swims in my eyes by the bed ~_

She makes a face, and then jumps when the door opens. She runs, scrambles onto the desk, a last minute decision. She's hears his familiar cackle, but then another voice, much deeper. Spry as a gymnast of her caliber could be she dove from desktop to bedroom and hid in the closet.

_~Pour myself over him _

_Moon spilling in _

_And I wake up alone~_

She hears a high pitched giggle, her man's. It's soon silenced and she can hear the 'mppfhh' as the sound is smothered by lips. They weren't hers. The thud of body hitting the wall, made her jump. A groan reverberated throughout the house. It was Batman, it was too gruff to be her man's.

_~If I was my heart _

_I'd rather be restless _

_The second I stop the sleep catches up and I'm breathless~_

Her man.

He was hers and she, his. He wasn't supposed to be bringing home other lovers, especially not the Batman. Agony peaked, her heart flung itself against her ribcage sharply. Blood flecked and swayed in her vision as she gripped her head with freshly manicured nails. But flesh and gristle beneath her fingers meant nothing.

_~This ache in my chest _

_As my day is done now _

_The dark covers me and I cannot run now _

_My blood running cold ~_

It was on the shelf beside her. She grabbed it. She held it to her chest, the tears ruining her carefully applied mascara. She takes a shaky breath. It would be easy to do, she just had to recreate her mind, think differently.

She opened her eyes. She wasn't Harley, not Harleen. She was a corpse, decked out in expensive lingerie. The perfume that scented her skin was only to hide the rotten flesh, the death that was entirely her. She opened the closet door quietly. She steppd out into the room and noted that neither of them were looking at her.

Like she thought, easy.

She shot her man first, for cheating, of course.

_~I stand before him _

_It's all I can do to assure him _

_When he comes to me _

_I drip for him tonight _

_Drowning in me we bathe under blue light ~_

She shoots the Bat second, it wasn't his fault her man was so irresistible. She sees that they're both still alive. Now, this next moment was key.

"H-_**harley**_**...**what the **fuck**-"

"Shh, puddin' Harley's not here right now."

_~His face in my dreams seizes my guts _

_He floods me with dread ~_

Batman is panting, she had shot him near his shoulder, his heart on the opposite side, still beating. She pointed the gun at his head, no possible way that she could miss.

"**NO**!"

"Aww, Mistah J, you'll thank me for it lata," she said facing him. She blinked away the blood, smiling to reassure him. She let him focus on her and pulled the trigger.

She loved the decisive sound a gun brought. Knives were too messy, posion too boring. Give her a good Glock anyday.

"**HARLEY**! **YOU FUCKIN' BITCH**!"

_~Soaked in soul _

_He swims in my eyes by the bed _

_Pour myself over him _

_Moon spilling in ~_

"You don't get Harley. Didn't I tell you Harley's not here?"

_~And I wake up alone ~_

She pointed the gun to her temple.

"Wa_**it, **_Harley. What're you-"

_~And I wake up alone~_

"Doin' what's fair for 'er baby. She doesn't deserve this, comin home watchin' you fuck men." She laughed the gun bumping against her head as she did so.

_~And I wake up alone~_

"If Harley can't have ya, then why should he? He shouldn't, that's what's up Mistah J. But I won't let Harley stand in ya way anymore. She won't holdja back. She won't keep ya down. Your the agent of chaos aintcha? Think of this as a...little muse for you to think on."

She laughed loudly, mascara damp on her cheeks. Her tears were of joy, Harley was never going to bother him again and her man, the Joker could go on and continue his great work without Harley and the Bat interfering.

She pulled the trigger.

Pain.

Happiness.

Bliss.

The beginning of a hoarse scream-Silence.

_~And I wake up alone~_


End file.
